Boy Problems

Japanese children are a mystery to me

I'm not trying to promote the exotification of Japanese culture, but sometimes I feel as though I don't know my students at all.

Alright, that is a bit of an overstatement, but let me explain. The younger children are more forthcoming about their feelings and emotions but as they age, they become more reserved and withdrawn. As a female teacher, the girls are at ease with me; and while there are boys who confidently interact with me, the majority are shy. This reservation and fear does not help me understand their personalities and it also does not necessarily help gain respect, as I've had issues balancing kindness while also commanding respect. Let's give some examples!

Yūga

6th grade

 M. Elementary

Yūga is one of the few outspoken boys who actively participates in English class. All the students participate, but he goes above and beyond to learn and use as much English as possible. Also, it's not rare for him to ask me how to say a certain phrases in English so that he can use them during class. In general, he's a good kid. However, last week as I glanced across the room to check everyone's progress, Yūga looked at me and said, "馬鹿野郎 (ばかやろう, Bakayarou or idiot)" assuming that I wouldn't understand. I changed my expression and asked, "Who is?" Seeing the stern look on my face, he smiled, pointed to himself and said, "I am." I told him he was right and walked away. 

Rin

6th grade

G. Elementary

Rin is an outspoken boy who enthusiastically disrupts English class. His participation in class usually depends on his interest in the lesson. I remember my first interactions with him consisted of him repeating the word "China" even though the lesson had nothing to do with countries:

Me: Do you like baseball?

Rin: China!

Me: Let's try again. Do you like baseball?

Rin: China!

Me: Well, I guess we're done here.

I referred to him as the "China Kid" until the 6th girls from my other schools confessed that they were in love with him and with that confession, I learned his name. He is also the only student who refuses to call me by my name. Instead, he either calls me ★のカービィ先生 Hoshi no Kābī sensei (Star Kirby*-sensei) or ★のガービィ先生 Hoshi no Gābī  sensei (Star Gabi-sensei). To retaliate, I call him Rin-chan (Baby Rin), which also makes his name sound like a girl's name.

"Kābī" ("Kirby" in Japanese sounds) a lot like "Gabi."
 If only they knew how much ass I kick with him in Smash Bros.

Last week, the homeroom teacher asked me to begin class without her because she needed to speak with a student in the hallway. I walked into the class and inquired about the day's classroom leaders, who were suppose to lead the English class chant. When the students remained silent, it was Rin who ratted out his friends and told them to hurry up because class had started. What!?!

Maybe he was polite because the English Advisor, who was visiting the school at the time, had to co-teach with me because the homeroom teacher's "talk" turned into a 20-minute yell-fest? Nope! He did it again another day and even told a few a his friends to shut up while I spoke. Weird!

Hyūto 
a.k.a. Kyūto Hyūto (Cute Hyuto)

5th grade

K. Elementary

Hyūto is an another outspoken boy who enthusiastically disrupts English class, but he also actively participates. Does that even make sense? For example, one day Hyūto kept interrupting my lesson, so I asked if he would like to be the teacher for the day and lead the class. I assumed that he would remain silent out of embarrassment but to my surprise, he rose to the challenge and took my place in the front of the classroom while I stood behind his desk like a student. The lesson went well, and I even received compliments from the principal.

Last week while we were practicing the days of the week, I noticed that Hyūto was not only saying the words with me, but also rudely imitating my voice. I gave him a menacing look but he continued until I finished my review. My co-teacher stopped me from reviewing the months of the year and began to scold Hyūto in front of the class. Hyūto was then asked to sit alone in the back of the classroom. After class, my co-teacher called Hyūto to him and began to scold him once more. 

Giving you the stank eye!

Co-teacher: Were you making fun of Gabi-sensei? 

Hyūto: No, I wasn't.

Co-teacher: Then why did she look at you? Were you not saying the words at the same time? Were you not saying the words in a high pitched voice? Like a girl?

Hyūto: ::Silent::

Co-teacher: Well, answer!

This went on for 15 minutes, but my co-teacher used Hyūto's silence to berate him on his lack of respect. I knew it was necessary, but I couldn't help feeling bad when Hyūto began to cry. 

Co-teacher: Now that you understand, what will you do? 

Hyūto: Apologize to the class.

Co-teacher: To the class?!?

Hyūto: And to sensei

Co-teacher: Which sensei?!?

Hyūto: Hirofumi-sensei.

Co-teacher: To me?!? (my co-teacher lost it at this point)

Hyūto: to Gabi-sensei

Co-teacher: That is the only person who you should be apologizing to. Now go apologize!

Hyūto walked over to me, but remained silent as he used his shirt to wipe his nose and shield his face. My co-teacher left the room to speak to his homeroom teacher, but instructed Hyūto that he was not allowed to leave the room until he apologized. While he stood in front of me crying, I glanced around the room in search of tissues. I couldn't find a box, so I succumbed to  standing and waiting for his apology. After 10 minutes, he popped out of his shirt, apologized, and quickly walked back to rejoin his classmates.

Kind of like this, but his face was inside his shirt.

Boy Problems

From these situations, I learned that I shouldn't judge my male students' level of respect for me solely based on their participation in class. Their hesitation to interact with me is an issue but, in the end, boys will be boys. I never take instances of their disrespect to heart, but I will correct it if it occurs. Until then, I will continue to be that "friendly American face."

Japanese Driver's License: The Tests

The Written Exam

10 True or False Questions

Level: Easy

Time: 30 minutes

For the written exam, I was escorted into a room where I was handed a packet. Inside the packet were large, laminated cards containing questions with pictures and a scantron. The woman who proctored the exam was a novice who spent more time sorting packets and counting people, even though there were only 5 of us, than actually proctoring the exam. After she explained the procedure and time limit, we were free to start the exam.

 

The exam was child's play in comparison to the written exam in the U.S.

 

Here are some sample questions:

1.) If you are going to drive a motor vehicle, it is important to know the rules of the road and to follow them at all times (True).


2.) You can turn right even though there is a red light in this situation (see picture above; True)

3.) At an intersection, a police officer signals for you to stop. You ignore the officer and follow the intersection (False).

4.) When turning right you can proceed to the middle of the intersection to turn, but must not obstruct oncoming traffic from the opposite side (For those that driving on the right, imagine turning left; True).

 If you failed the written exam whilst living in Japan, not only are you unfit to drive in Japan, but you are also an idiot. 

 After I finished the test, I was asked to wait outside until the tests were graded. Once finished, we were asked to return where the proctor announced that one person did not pass the exam. I shocked that she announced the results so openly, but knew that there was no way the person who failed could have been me. When she announced those who passed, she called my name, congratulated me on my perfect score, stamped by paperwork, and asked me to turn in said paperwork to another counter in order to schedule my practical exam.

The Practical Exam

Driving Course

Level: Hard

Time Limit: None

 

On the day proceeding my practical exam, I converged with my teachers about a particular problem. In the U.S., if you turn left into a double-lane street, you turn into the left lane because cars, who are turning right from the opposite direction (right turn on red), could turn into the right lane. In Japan, there is no "right turn on red." Well, actually, it's "left turn on red," because they drive on the left. So which lane was I suppose turn into?

 

 

Confused? Look at the picture above! Notice the car turning left? It's heading to the left lane of the double-lane road it's turning into. This was something I was unsure of because the driving center for my practice class only used single-lane roads. Although I asked one teacher, the question brought about a full staffroom discussion with teachers drawing diagrams and searching the Internet for a definitive answer. I love my senseis!

 

 

The following day, I drove, one more, to DMV in Naha to take the the despised driving exam. I was asked to wait in a room that opened onto a balcony overlooking the driving exam course. When I conversed with fellow foreigners, I realized  I was the only one who practiced the exam at a driving center.

 

The examiner arrived and gave a lengthy explanation, conducted in Japanese, regarding the exam procedures. It was fairly simple;  we were to be called into pairs, One person would take the exam while the other sat in the back observing and waiting their turn. We were given one lap around the course prior to the start of the exam to become acquainted with the cars breaks and gears. Moreover, he explained that if we drove onto a curb (especially during the Crank) we were given 3 chances to back up, adjust the car and continue driving. However, he stated that if we drove over the curb, we would fail the exam immediately.

 

When he finished, the looked down at his clipboard and began calling names.

 

"Romeu Maria Gaburiera-san."

 

I quickly raised my hand to indicate that I was present, when he said, "You're first." I let out an audible "Oh my God!" because I thought he was merely calling role. As I gathered my things, I cursed my luck and silently followed the examiner to the driving course.



I wanted to Mario Kart drift the sh*t out of this place

 

Although the test did not officially start until after the first loop, I exaggeratedly looked under the car and checked the road in order to "safely" enter the car. Once inside, I adjusted my seat and mirrors, and started the car. Before taking the car off of park, I said the one phrase that heard would definitely help my chances in passing:

 

 よろしくお願いいたします～！ (Please regard me favorably)*

  

The course was set for every possible scenario: intersections, double lanes, single lanes, construction, hills, dead ends, obstructed views, railroad crossing, crank turns and S turns. My plan was to stay calm, but check my mirrors like a psycho. I saw it as a performance where every swivel of my head had its count to an unheard song. As I drove, the examiner would instruct me in Japanglish, "Turn right on 1" or "Turn left on 12." I was confident, but I let the confidence get the best of me as I entered the Crank.



The Crank

 

The first turn into the Crank was smooth, and I assumed the same result for the second. However, I felt the left, rear wheel drive onto the curb. I slammed the breaks and watched the examiner jerk forward out of the corner of my eye. I had saved the car from going completely over the curb, but I became discouraged when I heard the examiner let out an audible sign. I exchanged looks my fellow test-taker seated in the back, as I backed off of the curb, adjusted the car and cleared the second turn of the Crank.

 

My morale was low, but I will myself to try my best. I was relieved when the examiner asked me to park. Parking for the test was a side-road park where the car needed to be a foot or less from the curb. If you drive onto or scrape the curb, you fail. After I placed the car in park, the examiner asked the guy sitting in the back to excuse us so that he could discuss my results in private. I braced for the worst, and I knew I was in for it when I heard the examiner suck his breath through his teeth.
 

"Well, you passed."

  

I was so shocked to hear that I passed that told him that I didn't believe him. I wanted to jump out of the car and tell the whole driver's license process to "Suck it!" but I sort of kept my composure. The examiner asked if I had taken a course at a driving school. When I confirmed his assumption, he said he could tell by the way I checked my mirrors and that by doing so I demonstrated the utmost respect for driving safely. He also pointed out one mistake from the beginning of the exam where I had turned right from the left lane (in a double-lane street). I wasn't sure if that was still during the practice loop, but he informed me that he asked me to perform the same turn 4 times during the exam, and I executed the turns perfectly. After stamping my paperwork, he instructed me to visit the foreign license counter.

Ironically, I returned to the same counter with the not-so-nice lady, who genuinely smiled and said "You passed!" All the animosity I held towards her vanished instantly. I had passed, and my struggle and the person who caused my struggle (including whatever was my own fault) no longer mattered.
 

* I also wore a mid-thigh dress, because I heard that wouldn't hurt my chances as well ;)

Japanese Driver's License: The Process

Somewhere on the Internet, I read that the process of transferring your American driver's license into a Japanese one will make you want to give a sexual favor to someone at an American DMV. I took the joke in stride and wondered, "Is is really that bad?" 

If I only knew then what I know now.

Before coming to Japan, I realized that my American driver's license was set to expire a year after my arrival. Like a good citizen, I reissued my license online and assumed that would be the end of that issue. Unbeknownst to me, in order to obtain a Japanese driver's license (the easy way), my license needed to be issued at least 3 months prior to my arrival in Japan. I was scheduled to arrive in August, and I reissued my license in July. F$%&! As a precaution, I brought both driver's licenses to Japan.

On my way to Christ's Grave!

The first step of the transfer was to have my driver's license translated. This was simple enough but if I used my reissued license, then I also needed to provide a copy of my driving history for translation. In order to save money, I used my older (but still valid) driver's license.

The second step was to make an appointment at a driving school in order to practice the driving test. Although this step was optional, I heard from various JETs that practicing the course with an instructor gives you an advantage to passing the test. On my half-day, I arrived at the driving school and asked about scheduling an apointment. The woman behind the counter informed me that there was no availability until next month and told me to come back later. I felt as though I was turned away, and so the next day I informed my board of education on what had transpired at the driving school. Senaha-san, who I feel as though is my life and financial handler, called the school and scheduled an appointment. Easy, Peasey, Japanesey!

The practice course for the driving test looked very intimidating, but thankfully my driving instructor was the sweetest and most patient man on the planet. He explained to me the rules of the road in Japanglish and even drew out instructions on a piece of paper.  

Here were some instructions:

1. (Before getting into the car) Check underneath the car at the rear and then front end
2. Look both ways before you walk towards door
3. Get into the car
4. Lock the doors
5. Adjust the seat
6. Put your seat belt on
7. Adjust all mirrors
8. Check the parking break

I thought the instructions were simple enough until he explained switching lanes and turning. The best way to describe the process is to check your mirrors and blind spot with exaggerated paranoia (think girl from The Exorcist). Moreover, in between checking the mirror and switching lanes/turning, you are expected to shift the car slightly to the left or right depending on which way you are switching lanes/turning.

Sounds confusing? Here my instructor's drawings:

What is this Tetris sh*t?!?

With enough practice, I  perfectly executed switching lanes and turning. Then, we moved on to the S-turn and the Crank. The S-turn is simple enough; it's just a road that weaves like an S. The Crank is similar to the S-turn, but in two right angles. If any part of the vehicle touches vertical poles in certain spots of the exercise, you fail. If you hit a curb and then go over it, you also fail. Even though the practice car was a mid-sized sedan, I breezed through it with no problem.

The next step was taking all of my paperwork to the DMV in order to schedule an appointment for the written test. The paperwork consisted of my resident card, certificate of residency, valid U.S. driver's license, translation of said driver's license, two passport-sized photos, and proof that I have lived in the U.S., for at least 3 months, after my driver's license was issued. For this "proof," I brought my college transcripts and my passport.

One of my schools was having a beach day and since my beachwear only consist of the tiniest bikinis, I skipped work and made the hour-long drive to Naha. At the counter for license transfers, I gave my paperwork to a woman behind the counter who vigorously flipped through all of my paperwork but paused when she came to my "proof." 

There was an issue with my passport because it did not have a departure stamp from the U.S., even though my first entry stamp was my August arrival to Japan. Fine, she won that point because of a technicality, but my transcripts made it clear that I've lived in the U.S. for at least 3 months after my driver's license was issued. Hell, it showed 4 years of it! 

When I pointed this out she said, "Your transcripts end in 2012, but your passport was issued in 2012. What were you doing before you came to Japan?" I glared as a response to her dumb question. I felt criminalized and told her check my transcripts with my driver's license. We argued back and forth over the issue until she told me that I needed to bring my old passport. I retorted by saying my old passport was in the U.S. She then pushed my paperwork at me, told me that she could not help me, and retreated through a door in the back.

"What were you doing before you came to Japan?" My response, Luigi Death Stare!

I was beyond upset and I felt defeated. I quickly messaged my mom to send my old passport while I explained what had happened to my boyfriend who was in Okinawa on vacation. He calmed me and suggested we go somewhere to print my bank statements and unofficial transcripts. I searched google maps for an internet cafe, and I found one less than 5 minutes away. We needed to print out the paperwork before the counter closed at 11am. We paid for an hour at the cafe, and I logged into the my bank and college accounts while my boyfriend freaked over the concept on an internet cafe. Psh, Gamers. I printed out 6 months worth of bank statements as well as my unofficial transcripts and made it back to the DMV before 11am.

The guy next to me was listening to Miley, Lady Gaga and Britney Spears. Werk it!

There was another woman at the counter so I began to explain my situation, but I was interrupted by the previous woman who began to review my paperwork once more. She seemed slightly satisfied, but said she would need to take my paperwork into the back. After what seemed like forever, the nicer of the two women called my name and explained that with the new paperwork I brought, they were able to process my paperwork. I was asked to pay at a separate counter and come back on examination day.

Tokyo Disneyland: The Rides

There's a great big beautiful tomorrow shinning at the end of every day. There's a great big beautiful tomorrow, and tomorrow is just a dream away. - Carousel of Progress

Unfortunately the Carousel of Progress isn't featured in Tokyo Disneyland, but below I break down the differences of some of my favorite rides to their Magic Kingdom counterparts!

Big Thunder Mountain Railroad

Location: Adventureland; to the left of Splash Mountain.
Queue: Outside queue was identical to the Magic Kingdom, but inside the was slightly smaller
Language: Japanese and the English "Howdy Folks!" Instructions
Ride: The ride was nearly identical to the one found at the Magic Kingdom, but the drops did not seem as high.



Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters

Location: Tomorrowland
Queue: The queue for this ride was mirrored, because guest enter from the opposite side.
Language: Japanese. Buzz Lightyear spoke Japanese, but his mouth moved to English words. Ouch!
Ride: Identical to the Magic Kingdom.
Side note: Mike talked so much shit, and lost. Lol Also, sponsored by Fujifilm!

That score though!

Haunted Mansion 

Location: Fantasyland (No Liberty Square at Tokyo Disneyland)

Queue: There were several differences to the queue. The first was the absence of the horseless carriage. Instead, two large Gargoyles peered over the entrance gate. The exterior was much more worn with broken gates and windows. Instead of an interactive queue, small patches with tombstones (including the pet cemetery) divided the queue. Moreover, Madame Leota’s and Master Gracey’s tomb were absent.

Language: Japanese (except for Madam Leota and the little Leota found at the end of the ride). 

Ride: Almost identical to the Haunted Mansion at the Magic Kingdom. Differences include a stagnant Madam Leota, and the older version of the Bride in the Attic and Hitchhiking Ghosts. Also, the ghosts that pop up behind graves were arranged differently and gave me quite a scare
Note: This is one of my favorite rides at Disney for various reasons. As a kid, I believed that, for a moment, I was actually taking a tour of a haunted house; and I remember being particularly traumatized over the idea of the Hitchhiking Ghost. What I particularly loved about this ride were the “actors.” As a kid, they would torment me by standing close and intensely staring at me during the stretching room scene.  As I got older, the “actors” found new ways to scare me. The one time I went with my cousin, a particularly creepy actor ushered us into a Doom Buggie. Right before we entered the first scene, the actor popped out from the side with manic eyes and told us “Have a nice time.” He got a good scream out of the both of us.
WTF Moment: The actors at Tokyo Disneyland ushered us in with the most polite and cheery Japanese humanly possible. Lame!

Pirates of the Caribbean

Location: Adventureland 

Language: Mainly English, except for the talking skull before the small drop 

Queue: The queue took place inside, what appeared to be, a small house with only small paintings of pirate ships reflecting the ride's theme. 

Ride: The first portion of the ride passed through a scene of  what looked like the Louisiana bayou. It was very odd and unCaribbean. The ride was extremely similar to the one found in the Magic Kingdom, but a few scenes were mirrored because we entered through the opposite side. There was also an additional scene with a large amount of treasure, skeletons, and a never-ending chess game. The ride was almost entirely in English, and I wondered if anyone  understood the difficult pirate lingo. 

Note: The ride was sponsored by Kirin Beer! Kampai!

Lousiana-ish swamp lands

Space Mountain

Location: Tomorrowland 

Language: No dialogue
Queue: Missing from Tokyo Disneyland were the interactive queues, the clearly-made-in-the-90's warning video, and the Omega and Beta Track. Instead, the queue featured a gigantic space ship!
Ride: The ride was completely different from the one in Magic Kingdom, starting with the cars, which were made for double riders. The beginning scenes were different and did not include a look into outdated mannequins fixing a spaceship. Instead, it looked like a blue room where the car charged for launch. The ride itself was ridiculously fast, with many twist and turns. There were a lack of dips, but what made up for that was the complete darkness. I couldn’t see a thing!
WTF Moment: Having to tolerate the rudest foreigners who had no concept of personal space.

Splash Mountain

In Japanese: I'm sorry if you get wet

Location: Critter Country (probably the only ride in Critter Country)

Language: Japanese

Queue: The entrance consisted of a barn with a large water wheel that lead into a cave. Inside, Bre'r Owl told the story of Bre'r Rabbit (Usagi-dono) in the most unintelligible Japanese imaginable.
Ride: Most of the scenes, except for the ones before and after the drop, were rearranged and mirrored. The Tokyo Disneyland version of this ride also used lap bars. Moreover, the final drop was noticeably lower than the one in the Magic Kingdom.
Note: I wondered if anyone in Japan understands the connection between the ride and black Southern culture.

The Enchanted Tiki Room: Stitch Present Aloha E Komo Mai

Location: Adventureland
Language: Japanese, Hawaiian, and a few English phrases.
Queue: Although the building was identical to the one found in the Magic Kingdom, just outside lied Stitch's crashed spaceship. Inside the queue Stitches footprints led to a hole in the roof. Also, although the set up was there, it lacked the queue's pre-show.
Ride: Because the differences between the traditional show and when it was under management differ greatly to Stitch's Tiki Room, I decided to include a video for you to watch and enjoy. Spoiler Alert! It's the whole show with English subtitles. Enjoy!

Note: Lilo and Stitch became so popular in Japan that they created their own show where Stitch crash lands on an (fake) Okinawan island called Izayoi. The Japanese version of the show continues to mix Hawaiian culture (especially the ohana concept), but also showcases Okinawan culture. I'm sure Stitch's popularity has waned over the years in Mainland Japan, but he is still very popular in Okinawa.

He brought The Ugly Duckling with him!

Tokyo Disneyland: General

You can design and create, and build the most wonderful place in the world. But it takes people to make the dream a reality. - Walt Disney

The Arrival

Mike and I woke up early and caught the early metro to Disneyland. Unlike in the U.S., Japan does not have the landmass to waste on acres of parking. Therefore, Japan Rail (JR) will quickly transport you to Disneyland at an affordable price (¥210 for us). We mused over the convenience since we were use to driving into Disney World, paying an outrageous parking fee to then forget whether we parked in "Villians" or "Heros."

Click for a closer view of Tokyo Disney Resort 

When we arrived at the station, the metro doors opened to soft Disney music and signs that directed visitors to either Disneysea or Disneyland. We walked past the ticket counter, made a brief stop at Mickey's passport, and then headed straight to "security." At Disney World, you have to open up every compartment of your bag for inspection but in Japan you show them your barely opened bag, and you're politely admitted in.

Loving this passport!

The Layout

The main entrance looked very similar to the Magic Kingdom. Here, various Disney characters, such as Mickey, Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, and others, greeted and took pictures with guests. Although we wanted a picture with Mickey, we wasted no time and went straight the Pirates of the Caribbean. It's tradition! As we walked to the Pirates of the Caribbean, the feeling of familiarity quickly vanished as we pass through the World Bazar instead of Mainstreet USA. That's right! No Mainstreet USA or Liberty Square!

What's this? It's the World Bazar!

There wasn't much to the World Bazar aside from shops and restaurants. My only criticism was that there was no merchandise with the words "Tokyo Disney," aside from tins of chocolate. In my mind, I pictured a vintage Mickey sweater with the words "Tokyo Disneyland" written on the front. Hell, I would have settled for a tote bag! Anything really! But there was nothing! Absolutely nothing! Judgement!

Something like this but with the Tokyo Disneyland logo

Although Tokyo Disneyland had several more "lands" than the Magic Kingdom, Tokyo Disneyland was about 1/3 of Magic Kingdom's size, and it did not feel as though I was walking across the Pacific to get from one point to another.

Here is a breakdown of the lands:

The Food

There was nothing vastly surprising about the food at Tokyo Disneyland (and no, there was no sushi). The only thing that stood out, in particular, was something very unJapanese - popcorn! Popcorn is the staple snack food at Tokyo Disneyland. What I saw wasn't your standard buttered, salted, or caramel popcorn, it was sea salt, soy sauce, curry, and honey flavored crazed concoctions. I found out later that the popcorn flavors change seasonally to include flavors like banana, chocolate, strawberry, and others. But it wasn't just the popcorn that caught my attention, it was the popcorn buckets as well. For only a few dollars, you could buy a popcorn bucket to carry your popcorn and eat from it all day. It had a long strap so that you could carry it like a purse and munch away while waiting in line. What I found extremely interesting was that everyone and their mothers had a popcorn bucket. They even had mini-sized popcorn buckets so that you could match with you (insert whatever Disney character) plushie.  I'm not into cheap souvenirs, but I felt every out of place without one.

Here are some examples:

Strawberry! 

Those buckets though!