That Time I Blurted Out the Word "Blow Job" at Work

The title of this blog post isn't a joke.

Preface

Last year at a farewell party, one of my coworkers from the board of education got super drunk and struck up a conversation about American porn. Had it been an older employee or a conversation on the "mechanics" of porn then I would have kindly excused myself, but my young coworker only commented about the freedom of porn in America. 

What, the freedom of porn? 

Yes, because all Japanese porn, whether purchased, streamed or downloaded, is censored. To be honest, I'm not a big fan of porn but highly pixelated Japanese porn kind of defeats the actual purpose of porn, right? Either way, the conversation ended with a list of his favorite American porn stars along with another round of admiration towards America's pornographic freedom. 

The Incident

Fast forward to a random Wednesday afternoon at the board of education where Justin (the middle school ALT) and I chatted quietly about the week's events, when we were suddenly interrupted by my porn-loving coworker. My coworker wanted me to recommend a good porn. What the ??? When did I become the authority on American porn? I knew of Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian's videos, but I didn't know any real porn. Wait, I knew one more! My mom and I were once huge fans of Teen Mom and Teen Mom 2, and I recently heard that one of the girls decided to start a career in pornography. I wikipedia'd the name of her porn and wrote it on the Post-It for my coworker.

Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom

My coworker looked at the Post-It for a few seconds than pointed to the name with a confused looked on his face. I said, "Farrah" out loud, thinking that he had an issue with pronouncing the name. He looked stunned for a second and then asked again. This time, I spoke a little louder and slower, "Far-rah." He took another moment and asked, "So this movie is about..." and made the typical gesture of a blow job - tongue to the cheek with a pumping fist.

I was f*cking mortified, but Justin was in a fit of laughter. I explained to my coworker that "Farrah" was the girl's name without really understanding the reason for his lewd gesture. It wasn't until later that Justin explained to me that フェラ fera, pronounced the same way as "Farrah," is the Japanese word for fellatio or "blow job." 

I said the Japanese word for "blow job" in the middle of my quiet board of education - TWICE!  Later on, my coworker admitted that he thought I was pretty brave for saying the word so loud (before he knew that it was a name), but not to worry about it because no one was actually listening anyway. I'm pretty sure that was lie to make me feel better. Earth please swallow me whole!

Moral of the Story 

Be careful! Innocent words in English might not be so innocent in Japanese! Also don't say フェラ "fera" or "Farrah" out loud. Like, ever!