Saying Goodbye

“Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.” - Charles M. Schulz

I was uncomfortable informing the Kinderbabies at my Monday school that I would not return after summer vacation. They were confused because they cannot yet comprehend time or space. They believed I returned home to the U.S. every night and then flew back to Japan every morning. It took them a few minutes, but they eventually understood - Gabi-sensei would not return to play with them anymore. Some cried while others hugged me and said,「また遊びに来て下さい」or "Please come back to play [with us] again [sometime]."

My three schools and board of education put in the effort to say a proper goodbye with assemblies for the students and farewell parties for the staff. I was presented with cards and expensive gifts but more importantly, I listened to touching speeches from those who thanked me for my two years of service in Ginoza. I was moved and ultimately heartbroken to say goodbye to my students and the people who were my second family. 

Speaking of second family, I didn't realize how difficult it would be saying goodbye to the OkiJETs until I was ugly crying in the club with my besties. Okinawa hosted a diverse group of JETs who came together during my final year to form a great community and support system. Luckily, I now have new places to visit on my travel bucket list!

I will return to Okinawa someday as a tourist but for now, I bid my OkiJET experience adieu. I'll miss the mad dash out of my apartment to make it to work on time; the rolling hills with the most beautiful sunsets; my kei car and its missing door handle; Hey boy heeeyyyyy; gossiping with my coworkers; all of my past and present kinderbabies; the incredible view from Matsuda Elementary; traveling to nearby countries; "Chill" nights; Thursdays a.k.a. beach days; Joshikai in the bathroom; pushing my students to do their best; Shommi, "I see you;" Spa nights with Yaya (surely); giving everyone the side-eye; Kanna Beach, my thinking spot; the talkative principal who held the longest staff meetings; Snapchatting during those meetings; walking down the hall and hearing "Gabi-sensei;" delicious onigiri, the love of my life; my sweetheart student neighbor; weird Japanese holidays; school lunches; arguing with Ian; scaring students by yelling "No Japanese!" during an interview exercise; eating three bowls of tofu cereal and immediately regretting it; doing eyebrows; obsessing over Nutella; 何人, 美人; having Genki Time with Hayley; my students singing the alphabet backwards; secret changing; Indian food; serious discussion with Nic and Matt; Aly's Line messages of truth; that student who told me my makeup was too dark; Tka's Line calls, discussing fecal matter with everyone; telling Mark he can't get to second base; my sassy dance teacher and the dancing grandmas; the way my students would say "What" or "oh my God;" kissing that cute Hawaiian JET (figure it out haha); popcorn; Bad Bitch nights; talking to my Japanese-American students; the call to assemble the ladies; Tka's dancing during a dancehall song; Japanese chocolate; Ashley's dancing and insight; the male teacher who told me to focus on myself; the teachers who cried with me when it all went down; my frenemy who was actually a friend; the person I thought was a friend, but turned out to be a frenemy; Eisa; not functioning the next morning; and salsa dancing with my instructor.

I'll miss it all! 

As for this blog, I'll add my experience with reverse culture shock and include a few retroactive posts.  But to my readers: whether you stubbled upon my blog, kept up with me for years, or creeped, thank you.  Seriously, thank you and good luck with your adventures.

P.S. can I now say the word "bully?" ;)

Okinawa JET Orientation: A Mission

About a week after arriving in Okinawa, all new JETs were expected to attend a welcome orientation. We received the emails a week before except the email did not explain how to arrive at the orientation, which was located in Okinawa City. What made it worse was that the orientation was scheduled on August 15th - my birthday!

See this date? This shit is sacred!

Okinawa has absolutely no rail system outside of Naha. Therefore, residents must either drive or take the bus. The email contained the address to the orientation, but links were all broken. Seeing that I had no way of knowing which bus to take or to which bus stop, I put my mother's quote to the test, "Preguntando se llega a Roma; Asking will get you to Rome," and I asked someone I thought would know. Unfortunately, no one could seem to be able help me because no on had taken the bus before or they were driving to the orientation. Thanks! So with the lack of information, I did the next best thing I could think of, which was to utilize technology. It's 2013, and if Siri can tell me where I can hide a body then I can definitely figure out how to get to this orientation. 

At least I met a new friend while staying with a friend

I used Google maps's street view until I found the nearest bus stop and zoomed into the sign. From there, I figured out the bus route. I had a veteran Oki JET confirm, and I stayed at his place, which was a lot closer than my apartment. That morning, he dropped me off at the bus stop on his way to work, and I changed buses three separate time to arrive at the orientation. I arrived perfectly on time, but I also arrived drenched in sweat. Absolutely drenched! As I rushed into the bathroom to clean up and the janitor, who was cleaning the bathroom at the time, told me how beautiful I was. As much I wanted to beam over her compliment, I was a total disgrace as my dress, hair, and makeup were a complete mess.

On a lighter note, the orientation as very beneficial, and I enjoyed the time spent with my new JETs. I didn't enjoy some of the passive aggressiveness that I experience from a particular person when a friend announced that it was my birthday. However, during lunch two OkiJETs from Singapore bought me a green tea cake and sung me happy birthday in English and Chinese. There was a get-together after the orientation, but I skipped this to bum a ride from a northern JET. I should have mingled a bit more but I was so exhausted, and I wanted to wash the day and sweat off of me. Later in the night, I Skyped with my parents and boyfriend as they sung me "Happy Birthday."

 According to a quote from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes: The Sign of Four, 27 is "a sweet age, when youth has lost its self-consciousness and become a little sobered by experience." On to a sexy 27! 

So delish!

           

Happy Birthday to me from my parents and boytoy!

           

The JET Program: Official McTicial

The spring semester was coming to an end, and I put all of my focus into polishing my thesis. On another random Tuesday, I was sitting with my friend, who also applied for JET, outside of the FIU Greene Library. It was slightly after 5 p.m. and she was telling me her latest boy-toy horror story [it was a goodie]. I casually mentioned that we should be hearing from the Miami Consulate soon and seeing that it was Tuesday, the same day we got our interview email,, I refreshed the email on my phone. That is when I was textually slapped in the face by the email. The only words I said were, "Oh my God," as I quickly skimmed through the email and read that I had been short listed. My friend freaked and quickly went to refresh her email. It was a moment of tremendous patience because either I was going to have to comfort her or we were going to celebrate together. The email finally appeared and she was also short listed. We both screamed and began to hug jump. Yes, simultaneously hug and jump.

It's official McTicial! I am going to live in Japanland!

With this news, I celebrated with my closest friends! 

Party face and the hangover rabbit food

Surreal Realization

This past week, I have been comforted by my friends, family members and co-workers regarding the loss of not only a close friend, but also a brotherly-like figure. Most people, I can assume, have a hard time understanding what it might be like to go through such a sudden loss. To be honest, I find it hard to believe myself - hence the title of this entry. I will try my best to put my feelings into words, so that I could help others that have gone through a similar situation. Yes, I understand that I was not this person’s family, but this was someone that I spoke to and saw regularly, and as you can see from my previous posts - someone who was very near and dear to my heart.

My amigo Omar was driving to a nearby park to play frisbee when he was hit by another car, which catapulted his car into a tree. He died on impact (he was wearing his seatbelt and his airbags deployed).  Later, we come to find out that the woman who hit his car, was actually fleeing from a previous hit and run, which is why the impact caused his car to hit the tree so hard. She also failed her field sobriety test (although her blood-alcohol content was below the legal limit) and admitted to the police that she was a recovering heroine addict and had used cocaine that morning. In the end, she was an idiot woman who, due to her terrible decisions that morning, ended the life of an amazing 28-year old. She is currently being charged with DUI manslaughter and vehicular homicide (a.k.a. they are throwing the book at her, as they should [see report here]).

For those who are informed of a sudden tragedy like this, I hope you are 1. not driving and 2. are close to a family member or significant other that can comfort you. I was fortunate to be home at the time when I received the phone call. Adrian, one his best friends, called and informed me that Omar was involved in a car accident. I quickly asked if Omar was alright, and he responded that he wasn’t. I inquired to which hospital he was in and that’s when Adrian told me that there was no hospital, because “He’s gone.” I can’t express how surreal this moment felt, I even asked if he was kidding or if it was an early April Fool’s joke. I have been feeling like this (surreal feeling) since. What’s comforting to know is that every one of his friends and family members that I have spoken to has felt the exact same way. There is lack of connection between our mind-brains and our mind-hearts. Mentally, we all understand that he’s gone, but in our hearts it just doesn’t seem real.

I attended his memorial service yesterday. I had selfishly hoped that it would be an open-casket wake so that I could have closure in seeing my friend one final time. Although his family opted for him to be cremated, I did feel a sense of closure and I got to say my final farewell because days earlier, Sean, his other best friend and roommate, asked if I would be willing to say a speech about Omar. I will forever be grateful for that opportunity.

One thing that the memorial that I kept saying was, “This is so Omar.” His family asked for us to be festive and have this moment to be a celebration of life. Flowers and decorations were lighthearted in nature. If you were a friend of Omar’s then you knew of his favorite movies (his posters were everywhere in his house) and his favorite sports team (he bled Miami Marlins colors). Therefore, at the memorial, his movie posters were present and the soundtracks to these movies were played in the background. People sent flowers that were arranged into baseballs or a Miami Marlins baseball field diamond. People were also asked to wear red, his favorite color, or Miami Marlin’s colors. He also had a passion for film making, which is what he was doing full-time, so they had his professional video camera set up on the side.

Although many people spoke during the service, his sister gave the most wonderful speech. I won’t go into detail, but she reminded us to cry, but not to suffer, because if we suffer then Omar suffers as well. I left the memorial knowing that my friend will always be with me. I was also moved by the positive imagine that he left on this earth - it’s aspirational. 

It’s still tough,  but I will take every day as a gift and continue to live according to His will. 

Therefore, I end this post with his comforting words:

You’re a sensitive flower…But you’re right, you never know when someone might die, and most people take that for granted. Take it as another learning experience in life. Live life to the fullest and don’t ever take people, especially your loved ones for granted, because you never know. 

Love you Omii!!!